Achieve Personal Growth and Greater Peace through the SAFE Method™ of Change
Change and growth can often feel overwhelmingly difficult. Many of us may identify areas of our lives where we are unhappy or frustrated but have trouble discerning a path to happiness or peace. The SAFE Method™ is a series of therapeutic stages that help us to make meaningful changes in our lives.
Self-Awareness
When living non-mindfully, we tend to react to the world around us as if we are on “auto-pilot.” We let our emotions take the lead, especially when we are in distress. We don’t think rationally, we don’t pause to reflect on ourselves and we certainly don’t consider the consequences of our actions. And this can lead to repeating patterns of unhealthy behaviors and relationships in our lives. Taking the time to cultivate and increase self-awareness, to really “tune in” to ourselves in the moment, is the first step to turning off “auto-pilot” and gaining more control of ourselves and our lives.
Acceptance
Once we have fully tuned into our experience in the moment, it is important to learn to allow or accept that our internal reaction – whatever it is – is okay. This opens us to the idea that what we’re experiencing is perfectly appropriate for that moment. This doesn’t mean it is enjoyable. In fact, our experience might be uncomfortable or even painful. But it does encourage us to believe that negative emotions are a normal part of the human experience. And as such, they are a reaction to the current situation, not a reflection of who we are at our cores.
Forgiveness
Acceptance of ourselves in the moment may seem like a strange and impossible task. Self-blame, telling ourselves that we shouldn’t think/feel/be this way, is something that many of us do, yet this serves no purpose other than to bring about a sense of shame – to convince ourselves that we are not good enough. Yet we are the products of all the experiences that we have had up until this moment – and in this moment, we are doing the best we can with the skills we have. Forgiveness of ourselves in the midst of negative thoughts or feelings opens us to the idea that we are indeed worthy.
Empowerment
Before going through the above steps, many of our reactions feel automatic – like our thoughts, feelings and behaviors are unavoidable, making it difficult to even consider the possibility of change. When we become more aware of our internal processes, accept that they are appropriate for where we are in the moment, and forgive ourselves for negative or shameful feelings, we begin to realize that we are so much more than our experiences. We understand that we have an inner core that has value and goodness. And that allows us to be ready for change – and to understand that not only is it possible, but that we are worthy of the greater peace that comes with it.